Walking on Gravel - Finding the Concrete in People

I can give you a list of things that make me unsteady right now and I would imagine that many people have similar lists.  A couple of weeks ago, in #MeditationPlus, our discussion brought the following image to my mind: I was walking on gravel, recognizing the fact that I had been looking for the street to be solid concrete.  I wasn't afraid, I had a feeling of being settled and accepted the new state of what was beneath my feet.

During shaky times in my life, I look for solid ground.  Or I should say, I used to look for solid ground, a handrail to hold, and a friend to lean on.  Walking in the world doesn't always feel safe, solid, sturdy, or secure.  The past few weeks have been busy, crazy, intense with some personal changes.  Transition doesn't have to be hard, it just isn't every easy.  Adjustment to new things often brings loss of something else.

I don't have to search for solid ground anymore, safety comes in the comfort of others and in the comforting of others.  Connecting to another is what gives me that solid feeling I want.  Recently, I chaired the JCPSC Honors Gala - an evening of celebration for our Jewish Communal Professionals. Standing among my peers, I felt like a superhero - stronger with my team, all diverse with unique talents and all running our own universe.  But on this night, we are together, inspiring each other and seeing our past, present and opportunities for the future.

Today, I'm not focusing on my lists of things that make me shaky and unsteady, today, I gather strength from my family, my colleagues and my peers in the field.  Thank you to the JCPSC for allowing me to create something special for the community.

#HappyThanksgiving #lovemyjob #walkingongravel

A Life Still Doing - #valuesinaction

So much to do!  This is a phrase that sits sometime comfortably or uncomfortably in my heart and mind.  Elul and the Jewish holidays have allowed me to reflect and look ahead.  With my #valuesinaction mindset, I've thought about my #5777goals:

• Say yes when I can
• Say no when it is best 
• Stay hungry for learning
• Explore Los Angeles through visiting dog parks around the city
• Host meals in my home
• Enjoy my backyard
• Continue to #lovemyjob and raise a lot of money
• Choose gratitude and happiness as a state of mind
• Embrace hardship when faced with it and look for help to walk through it.
• Look ahead 5 years, 10 years and create a personal and family plan.  Where do I/we want to be and how do I/we get there.

Welcome 5777!  I'm ready.

Showing Up Changes Perspective - #valuesinaction

I wanted to sleep in.  I could have slept in.  But yesterday was Shabbat and Meditation Plus began at 9:15am.  I wanted to stay home, stay in my pajamas and the world outside.  It was an intense week, all the normal anxieties of adulthood felt exponentially heightened.  Each smile felt forced, each joyful moment (there were some) felt brief.

So, when I could have stayed home, when I wanted to stay home - I didn't.  I got up, got dressed and made my ritual Shabbat morning walk to shul.  I still felt off, still felt like the walk was longer than other days.  But I continued, put one foot in front of the other and kept going.  I looked up at the sky, concentrated on breathing and tried to find some enjoyment in the beautiful day.  Though clear outside, I, myself, felt cloudy.

I finally arrived and with each heavy step, climbed the stairs without the usually skip in my step.  "Just get there," I said to myself.  I reached the top of the stairs and took a deep breath, "I made it," I thought to myself.  To find some instant comfort, I sat in one of my favorite seats.  I had moved it a few weeks before for a change of perspective, but like a security blanket, the moment I sat in my favorite seat, I relaxed a little more.

And then we began.  Rabbi Ruth Sohn's voice guided us first and then after our silent meditation, I felt elevated, refueled, relaxed, and calm.  I shared with the group that during the meditation, I had an image of walking through mud, dragging myself to get to where I was going, and that the meditation had helped remove me from the mud.  As the meditation progressed, my imagery included stepping out of the mud and standing unburdened.  All it took was for me to show up.  Even though I wanted to sleep in and stay home.  I made the right decision.

Show up! I took that action a few more times which lead to great conversations, reconnecting with friends and a new perspective for the holiday of Sukkot.  These past 48 hours have been transformative.  As the holiday teaches us that life is fragile, temporary, open and what matters most are your family, friends, your community, and the values that allow you to stay close, reach out to others, share food, friendship and love.

Chag Sameach

Finding Values in Your Younger Self - #ValuesInAction

This Yom Kippur, I am looking at our past to hear the voices which help guide me today and tomorrow.  While cleaning up and preparing for our Break the Fast, I found this tribute to Rabbi Jacob Pressman that my husband Perry wrote in 1975.  It was a Birthday Gala and Perry was 13, a seventh grader.  He remembers reading it in front of everyone at the Beverly Hilton Hotel.  Losing Rabbi Pressman this year was a tremendous loss for the community.  Reading Perry's words reminds me of Rabbi Pressman's extraordinary leadership and the impact that he had on so many.  Attached is the original. Seeing the words in Perry's younger handwriting only emphasizes his respect for Rabbi Pressman and that he kept it all these years speaks to Perry's own values of remembering those who made an impact on him.  #ValuesInAction.  I'm proud to read these words today and proud to know that man who wrote those words so many years ago.

For your enjoyment and some reminiscing, Perry gave me permission to post his tribute to Rabbi Pressman.

October 21, 1975

I think of Rabbi Pressman
When I think of all great men
He is very understanding
and wouldn't commit a sin

He always helps at Herzl
He helps us with our homework
And he tries his best to Lxxxx down
When Lxxxx goes berserk.

He is a very good leader
And know how to judge what's right
One thing Rabbi an certainly do
is give an excellent sermon on Friday night.

Rabbi Pressman, I know you pretty well
And I've got one more thing to say
From all of us to all of you,
Happy Birthday

Truth in Kindness #valuesinaction

One of the most important values in my life is truth.  As long as I can remember, I always knew that it was important for me to tell the truth.  When I was young, it was because I knew that my mother would be furious if I lied. But as I quickly learned, I didn't always tell the truth as young girl or a young woman.

When I was older, I learned the difference between secrecy and privacy.  In my solid adult friendships, I share with those I trust and only share what I want with those who don't need to know my life's story.  And further, I sometimes find myself in my circle friends or my meditation group or with complete strangers and I hear my voice sharing something deeply personal because either I need to share it or I believe that someone else needs to hear it.

Speak truth with kindness - it is how we learn to trust each other and deepen our personal relationships.  Today, someone told me the truth.  It can be scary because it means that someone was thinking about me and found the strength to call me.  I know these difficult conversations take time and courage which I truly appreciate.

It wasn't easy to hear.  But today was the day and I needed to hear it.  Today is today.  Someone showed me kindness in truth and truth in kindness.  I'm not walking away.  I'm embracing, I'm in solution and I'll deal with it.

And tomorrow is another day.  #valutesinaction

Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow

“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.” 
― Mother Teresa

Sitting in our beautiful Rosh Hashanah services last week made me realize just how important it is to take notice of today, be aware of these precious moments, and while knowing these seconds, minutes, hours, days all turn into weeks, months and years, we need to embrace as much as we can right now, today.  

Today! I'm writing this at the end of the weekend, hoping to sleep well and preparing for my work day tomorrow.  It is hard not to think ahead, make plans, look forward to what's next or even worry about how it will all get done.  Meditation, deep breaths and making those plans will help me stay focused today so that I can grow tomorrow.  

Today! I want to accept.
Today! I want to understand.
Today! I want to embrace.
Today! I want to breathe.
Today! I want to show up.
Today! I want to love.
Today! I want to be compassionate.
Today! I want to comfort.
Today! I want to see the best in others.
Today! I want to see the best in myself.

Tomorrow is tomorrow and I will live it as uniquely as yesterday.
Yesterday is gone and I will let go so that today is all its own.

As I walk into shul to stand with my community for Yom Kippur, I know I am not alone.  And that is the essence of my daily gratitude.

Shana Tovah.

Values in Action - Day 2

I tried something new tonight.  I showed up at the evening service of the first day of Rosh Hashanah.  In the past, I only went to the services where I thought I should be.  Out of 5 services, I would go to two, maybe three.  Something pulled me this year.  I want to be there.  I want to meditate. I want to find a peaceful space that allows me to learn and grow.

As I walked out of services tonight, I looked up at the billboard and thought, "Wow, what a spiritual message for Rosh Hashanah."

As we talk about spiritual renewal, recalibrating, reconnecting and clearing our own spiritual path, I felt that we got lucky.  Often, the billboard outside shul is not appropriate for a spiritual community or an elementary or middle school. It is a conversation that many of us have and we often feel helpless.

Look at that - Self-Storage is stupid, never visit a storage unit again - Make Space.  Spiritually, we shouldn't hold onto things, we should let it go and say goodbye to the past, make room for all that is important to us.  

You walk out of the shul and this is what you see.  I cannot help but realize that the billboard is in the right place at the right time. 

Shana Tovah!

#ValuesInAction

My Elul - It's About The Work

Personalities will always color my experience with people.  In my Elul reflections, whether I was home or at work, the dynamics of our personalities, our voices, our chemistry impacts one another and could drive us to cooperate or block. If I get lost in the emotions, I get nothing done.  Being confused by the judging of behaviors, comments and overthinking of others' decisions leads me to resentment and frustration.

Elul has given me the opportunity to see the bigger picture.  Often I end posts with #lovemyjob because I am moved by what I witness - the programs, the beneficiaries, my dedicated colleagues and the compassion and generosity of donors.  Meditation has taught me to focus.  The practice allows me to put aside the negative forces that block me.  Thoughtfulness, patience, and compassion are tools, muscles that need exercise, and values that guide me every day.

Every day is a gift.  It has been said before - some days will be harder than others, some days will truly exceed my expectations.  My choice is to make the best decisions for me, my family, my team and for my communities.

Day #1 of the New Year.  Looking forward to a year of values in action.  Joy will come as the focus continues to be on the work - at home and at the office.

Shana Tovah!

My Elul - My Greatness and My Flaws

So much of what I read and see teaches methods to find more balance in my life.  Stay calm, breathe, meditate, we are dark and light, we are a mixed bag and it takes time and effort to pay attention to stay calm, breathe and meditate.  I'm exhausted just from that sentence. 

My promise to myself for this coming year is to find the balance of my greatness and my flaws.  My critical voice often concentrates too much on my flaws.  I know that, we all know that.  This year, I'm going to strengthen the voice that empowers and shares my love of all that is good and great.  I want to lear to make that the stronger voice both internally and externally.  

In our lives, we have people who also see our flaws, our challenges and our fears, and there are those in our lives who can help us see the best in us, our accomplishments and our talents.  Those people are the ones that I want to surround myself with so that we walk this path together - a path of results, a path of success and a path partnership.

#MyElul - I'm a mix of greatness and flaws and all is possible.  Loving what I do, sharing the commitment to raise a family, engage a community and find deeper meaning in everything I do are my promises to myself.  These are probably my best New Year resolutions ever. 

My Elul - Participate and Witness

Today is no ordinary Monday - so much was accomplished.  From getting my kids to school, to meeting after meeting, to a doctor's appointment, and then to another meeting.  Every moment of this day made an impact on me.  Through #myelul lens, I was able to see the spark, the connection, the human spirit, the partnership and the dedication of so many people who want to simply do their job well. 

As a participant, my colleagues and I made decisions, found the creative answer, respected each other and had a few laughs.  Oh, and two of us disagreed but we agreed to disagree, so it ended well.  The work that we did today will impact other tomorrow, the next day, next week or maybe a month from now.  Whenever it hits, I am confident that the impact will be felt. 

As a witness, I saw passion in actions, sparkle in eyes, and confidence in voices. It all was so moving to me. I saw people who want to be better, do better, and strive to encourage others to share think bigger. 

#MyElul reflections today made me realize how beautiful it is to be surrounded by those who are likeminded, compassionate, smart, creative, forward-thinking and know how to get things done.  And that is what happened today - we got a lot done and I'm going to sleep feeling very accomplished. 

My Elul - Community

I am part of many communities.  Lucky, grateful, and working hard to create moments and experiences that allow me to learn, grow, make a difference and take time to understand what else I need to accomplish or what is expected of me.  During this month of Elul, I have heard the word community and even more, I have really felt it.  

This is the image that I see every day when I walk into my office.  It truly represents who I am and who I want to be.  I'm surrounded by love, prayer, intelligence, determination and commitment.  My colleagues are smart, funny, interesting, caring and dedicated community leaders.  They inspire me with their creativity, kindness and willingness to take on the challenge of raising money for the important work of The Jewish Federation.  #lovemyjob

My spiritual community is just as rich.  Last night, our Shabbat service was held on the roof.  As we prayed together, sang and learned together, I felt alive.  Not the jumping up and down or waving your hands show of aliveness, instead I felt present, I'm where I'm supposed to be, blood running through my veins, heart pumping.  I looked into the eyes of my fellow congregants and saw their joy, pain, peace or struggle. And we were together, a community, diverse and similar, sharing this moment and supporting each other.   

And again this morning, our #MeditationPlus circle is a precious community of meditation, prayer, learning, and challenging prompts for spiritual growth.  This community has transformed me.  It has given me guidance, new perspective and confidence.  I learn more than just the practice of meditation or the Rabbis thoughts on Torah text, I learn about myself, to listen, to interpret, and be amongst people who share their ideas and experiences. It is a safe space and never gets tired or old. 

I'm part of something, a family, friendship, a congregation, an organization, and all these pieces enrich my life.  And for that I am grateful.  Looking forward to new opportunities, new partnerships and new experiences in the coming year. 

My Elul - Truth

This week I was told the truth.  Someone I barely know understood that I needed to hear some important information.  The voice was direct, honest, and though soft-spoken, I heard the message loud and it repeated like a loop in my mind.

The truth is a complicated gift.  I knew this truth, but I chose to ignore it many times.  I thought a lot about why I've put this information away.

Timing is everything.  How do I use this information and when?  Pieces of the story get put aside until a later date.   Sometimes it's my coping skills and sometimes I just do not want to deal with negative, disappointing, or frustrating information.  My brain can take in a lot of information, but it needs time to process the bigger decisions.

My truth, your truth, the collective truth and the reality are what we have.  Since we don't have our own playback video to refer, we need to trust ourselves and others who are looking out for our best interest (whether we like it or not).  Can I trust the others?  This remains for me the bigger question.  While I try to live my life without regret (as much as humanly possible), when I reflect on those times that I heard messages that could have changed my life, I do wonder, "What if?"  But my truth today is that every decision I've made is what has provided me with the learning opportunities I've needed and of course, in many cases, has given me my greatest joys.

My promise for the coming year is to hear truth with open mind and understand how this information is brought to my attention.

My Elul - New Responses

In this month of reflection, I wonder today what is it that makes one behave differently, more thoughtfully and transform to what one wants to become.  New responses to situations allow me to see more clearly my growth or my regression.  Today, I don't want to yell. Today, I don't want to be frustrated by the external forces.  So, I need a new response.

I had two difficult conversations in the past 24 hours - one was very personal and one was professional.  In both situations, I responded differently and heard a new voice. Neither right nor wrong, just a new response. The personal was quiet, comforting, but still strong.  The other was loud and forceful.  In both conversations, I'm not sure if I'm happy with the results and more importantly, not sure that another response would have given me different results. However, I am happy with the appropriate use of my voice, stronger when necessary, comforting when necessary.

Difficult conversations happen all the time.  It's not easy, pleasant, or enjoyable, but it is an opportunity to learn, grow, and sometimes offer comfort when the aggression is a mask for sadness.  And following difficult conversations, rewards can be great, stronger connections can be made and relationships are more authentic, genuine, and meaningful.  This is my experience.

My Elul - a time for new responses, a time to reflect on past conversations and consider what could have been said to help, guide, teach and learn.  And when faced with the next difficult conversation, I will remember to find the balance of compassion and strength.  Meditation will be a valuable tool for continuous reflection beyond Elul.

My Elul

For the past few years, I have thought a lot about what I need to prep for the High Holidays.  What is it that I want to accomplish in the coming year?  Am I able to reflect on the past year and honestly admit my successes and my failures?  As I sat in #MeditationPlus yesterday, I made a commitment to myself that this year, I would write my thoughts throughout the month.  #MyElul will be my own reflections, my hopes, my regrets, and my promises so that when I show up for Rosh Hashanah, I will be ready.

This year felt like an important year.  Maybe because we celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary, that's a big deal.  Maybe because I saw some significant growth in our children this year.  Maybe because even the hard stuff that we faced helped us grow.  One of these reasons, all of these reasons, or something entirely different. Whatever it is, these experiences feel more real, more impactful and more authentic.

It made me wonder what I felt years ago.  Today, I pulled out my old journals and was surprised to hear my younger voice as one striving for growth, learning, and opportunities to connect with my family, friends and community.

Fall, 1993 - I wrote that I wanted a job in the Jewish community as a way to connect to my religion.

December, 1993 - I was changing careers and had not yet been hired in the Jewish community.  I was temping and frustrated that my peers were more accomplished.  I was going to dinner with a friend and had $3 in my wallet.  I wanted independence, I wanted to career and I knew how lucky I was that I had a very strong support system. I wrote, "...I will conquer and I will make something of myself."

March, 1994 - Was sad to find that I wrote too much about my appearance and my weight, but this happened to be a good one - "I felt beautiful today.  It was great. I didn't care about my weight, and I felt absolutely stunning. I wish I had more of these days."  I was still temping which made the entry even more wonderful to read.

September 5, 1994 - Compassion - I wrote an entire entry about my love, friendship and sadness for a friend who was going through a very difficult time.  My heart was broken for her then and today, as I read it again, I am right back in the memory.

#myelul - just the beginning

Empower by Retreat

Teamwork is critical to our success.  Individuals have responsibilities and as we work together, I am always inspired, energized, and renewed by the creativity of our team.  

Last week, our team came together for a 1/2 day retreat.  We met at a location away from the office allowing us to stay focused and challenged.  Our goal was to discuss the next 12 months both strategically and creatively.  In addition, we welcomed new staff around the table with an opening meditation and sharing exercise.  These types of exercises offer all of us around the table a few minutes to get settled, relax, and develop a circle of trust.  This is particularly important for the new staff around the table.

Following this opening exercise, we concentrated on the work ahead of us.  Through review and analysis, we were able to evaluate our plans, make adjustments where necessary and begin to strategize as we look ahead. Talking to each other, hearing everyone's ideas, allowing voices to be heard are all empowering and the real success of the retreat.  In designing a retreat, it is critical that work gets done, but it is equally important to reconnect the team, renew the trust among colleagues, and for all around the table to exhibit leadership and partnership.

Ideas for opening exercises:

• Use photographs as a prompt to tell a story
• Create an art project that remains in your office, and use it during other meetings to remind the staff they are one team
• Have staff bring favorite quotes or lyrics as responses to some prompts.
• Create a word exercise that is both about the work and can be incorporated into an art project

Though it was only a half-day, we got a lot accomplished and I look forward to planning our next retreat.

Reconnect, Renew and Recommit!

Thanks to my team for sharing their creativity, their voices and their professionalism.
#teamawesome

Lessons from Meditation - Love and Compassion

For me, today's meditation evoked the word COMPASSION again and again.  Following Rabbi Sohn's beautiful guided meditation, we studied the text below.

When the LORD thy God shall enlarge thy border, as He hath promised thee, and thou shalt say: 'I will eat meat', because thy soul desireth to eat meat; thou mayest eat meat, after all the desire of thy soul. (Deut 12:20)

We spoke a lot about expanding your heart and soul.  In doing so, the more we give, the more open we become.  Our spiritual and physical selves are connected.  All that is done from your soul, connects you to God, others and yourself.

I am human.  I try hard to connect with others in hopes that I can learn, grow and give.  When the outside world messes with me, I try to reset. Meditation helps me do that.  Here are a few new ways of dealing with external:

• Breathe 
• Pause
• Monitor your reaction 
• Choose your behavior wisely and thoughtfully
• Be kind
• Be compassionate
• Connect with others
• Laugh
• Pray

As we begin the month of Elul, every moment is an opportunity for growth and connection.  When you are feeling those human struggles of insecurity, exhaustion, discontent, this is the moment to be understanding and compassionate to yourself. 

Love, be kind, heal, offer peace - for yourself and for others.

Me and My Body

Recently, I have seen two images that allowed me to appreciate my body and even love my body.  First, the trailer for the upcoming documentary EMBRACE - EMBRACE - The Film and then THE DANISH GIRL - THE DANISH GIRL - The Film.   With the film EMBRACE opening in a month, the trailer by itself is so moving and immediately gives me sense of freedom.  The message is clear - love your body, now and forever.  Embrace Director Taryn Brumfitt's inspiration is from her own before and after picture that she posted on the internet - the response was unexpected and reached women all over the world.  Can't wait to see the documentary in its entirety.

Then, while watching THE DANISH GIRL, I had to rush to read more about the true story of Lili Elbe and Gerda Gottlieb.  I love these women.  We live in a time of Jill Soloway's TRANSPARENT which woke us all up to the real families who are trying to regain their true identities.  We all want to feel right in our skin.

Both Taryn and Lili allowed me to see the beauty in the body I am given.  I'm lucky.

In this body...

• I see, I hear, I speak, I touch and I feel.
• I love 
• I work
• I share
• I lead
• I learn
• I pray
• And so much more.

Full disclosure: I haven't felt like this in a long time.  While in #MeditationPlus this morning, I made a personal commitment to write this today while feeling like this.  The billion dollar business that tells me I'm not pretty enough, thin enough or whatever, will likely find its way into the crevice of insecurity and would have told me that I should not write this.  Today, they are wrong and I am right. 

I need more todays.  

Thoughtful Actions - Power of Personalities

Over the past few weeks, I have written some posts with the theme of mindfulness at work.  During my morning commutes this week, I began to think about the power of personalities and the impact on decision making, negotiation, branding a message and strategic thinking.  What makes a decision the right one? What makes the negotiation successful?  What is the merit of a brand message?  And how does strategic thinking create a real and powerful vision for the future?

Personally and professionally I have witnessed the power of personalities in several meetings.  In my life, I am surrounded by diverse personalities - strong, thoughtful, kind, dedicated, reactive, quiet, assertive, withdrawn, literal and visionary.  Sitting in a meeting recently, I imagined what the discussion would look like if the personalities around the room were different.  If the facts are the same, would the results be the same?  Would a change of one person make a difference so much that the result would change for better or worse?

Goals around the table need to be the same, personalities need to guide the process.  I offer this when you sit in your office, your meeting, wherever and with whomever you gather - Thoughtful Actions. Our words and our actions make a difference.  Our personality is our unique mark on our world and as we work together, let it shine, let it represent the best part of ourselves and as we act in thoughtful ways, let the results of our decisions, negotiations, brand messaging and strategic thinking show who we are.

Taking thoughtful actions are not always easy.  Take a breath.  Count to ten. Take a walk.  In those moments when you are frustrated, can't believe your colleague just said that, or feeling that the situation feels unfair, take a breath, count to ten, or take a walk.  Be thoughtful.  We don't always have the information, we don't know what other conversations are taking place, and sadly, we don't and can't always know when private conversations include advocacy for staff or creative thinking for management.

Maybe we are wrong. Maybe we misjudged.  Maybe we should consider that others did take some thoughtful action.  That alone would be a thoughtful action.  Think about some other ways to be thoughtful - respect a colleague's idea, thank people when they deliver the report, offer to help another with a project, collaborate because you want to, work together kindly even when you don't want to, instead of an email, get out of your office to talk to a colleague face to face (people like to see you) or pick up the phone (people like to hear your voice).

Be thoughtful.  Stay calm. Let the best of your personality shine - that is the power of your personality.  Let me know if this works for you.  It is already making a difference in my personal and professional partnerships. Good luck.

A Lot in My Little Vacation

Within hours of sending our kids to camp, my husband and I were off to our own mini vacation - a couple of days at Two Bunch Palms in Palm Desert.  Known for its mineral springs and old Hollywood history, it offers an opportunity for relaxation, self-exploration, and reconnecting with your partner.

Starting with the drive out of Los Angeles and with Two Bunch Palms as our destination, the two hour drive is the beginning of my distressing.  Once we arrive, the warmth of the air welcomes us and allows every cell of my body to soften. We spent the next 48 hours enjoying the classes, the spa treatments and the freedom to be away from the handcuffs of time.

And I took a lot of deep breaths. And I spent time looking out into the mountains.



I sat stil.  I meditated.  I read.  I laughed.  And then I repeated. In 48 hours, I was able to refuel, reboot, renew and reconsider all the possibilities that are ahead. Mission accomplished.



This selfie was taken right after we finished a meditation.  The air was warm and the wind was embracing.  

So grateful for these 48 hours.

Lessons from Meditation 7-16-16

Each Shabbat morning our Meditation Plus group comes together and such a rich discussion is born.  And with all that is going on in the world today, we each shared our sadness and anxiety about the state of the news and we were all grateful for our meditation and the opportunity to learn together.

I led the meditation and Taly led the study.

I began with a chant from Rabbi Shefa Gold:
Not just every year, week or day, but every single moment we can choose Life. This means choosing to let go of a negative thought or judgement; it means choosing to live with uncertainty; choosing the kind word or generous attitude; choosing to let go of tension and relax.  In every moment we can choose to "be chosen" by God for the best possible Life, for the life we were meant to live fully.  In each moment, we can choose to accept the gifts, challenges, opportunities and responsibilities that we are being given.  Rabbi Shefa Gold's Chant "Choose Life: Uvacharta Bachayyim"

Following the chant, I led the following meditation:

After the news this week, Rabbi Shefa Gold’s chant was just what we needed.  Choose Life.  As we focus on our breath, listen to your breath, feel your lungs as you inhale and exhale. Our breath is the essence of our life.  Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out.

A few weeks ago, I heard the phrase “Your ears should hear what your mouth says.” I posted on Facebook to see if anyone knew who authored it.  And then, thanks to Rabbi Cantor Hillary Chorny, she immediately responded with the source - Rabbi Yose in the Yerushalmi (Jerusalem Talmud) Halakha 4, mishnah 4.  She shared that it is a teaching about the shema and how your prayers should be loud enough for you to hear them, but quiet enough so not to distract.

The quote intrigued me and I really thought about how I can apply it to my work.  But once I did that, this quote still fascinates me, haunts me, and reminds me of how important my words can empower and distract others. 

In our meditation practice, we focus on the silence.  We embrace the power of silence and while we sit next to each other, we are alone in our minds and are hearts.  Our breath empowers us, allows us to live and when we take time to align our hearts, minds, and breaths, we find a momentary peace.  Let’s take time today to start with our breath and as we breath in and out, connect the breath to our hearts and minds. 

Take a deep breath.  Feel it go through your body.  Where do you feel it most – in your lungs, are your lungs full?  In your diaphragm?  Does your stomach extend?  Does your chest expand?  Take another deep breath and where do you feel this one, is it the same? Is it different?

Take a deep breath. What goes through your mind?  Let it go.  Focus on how your breath affects your mind.  Is your mind running?  Thoughts jumping around.  Take a breath and quiet your mind.  Let the breath free your thoughts and focus only on your breath.  Allow your breath to empty your mind. 

As we sit in silence, focus on your breath and use it to keep your mind clear.  We will sit for 10 minutes.

 Following our meditation, we had a beautiful discussion about our experiences in the quiet.   

Taly began the study with a brief description of parashat Hukkat.  We spoke a lot about the deaths of Miriam and Aaron, and the even how Moses is told by God that he will die before the Israelites enter the Promised Land.  Taly brought a very moving article by Rabbi Lisa Edwards that appeared in The Jewish Journal two years ago, but was so relevant to our conversation. 

Rabbi Lisa Edwards: Torah portion Hukkat - time flies

We also spoke about the power of meditation, guided and silent which reminded me of an extraordinary documentary: The Dhamma Brothers, about bringing a mediation program prisons.

But, what struck me most this morning and has stayed with me all day is the powerful description of Miriam's death and with her death, there was no water.  Thinking about this in relation to losing those we love, I immediately thought about how when a significant person in our lives passes way, a characteristic we love about them dies with them.  Like Miriam's well, our loved one's characteristic nourished us and was a vital part of our lives.  With the loved one gone, that healing, and giving quality is gone.  How sad that such a significant gift in one's life is no longer with us. Our memory is strong, but like with Miriam, the well is gone.

I'm blessed to have such incredible people surrounding me.  I'm grateful for Meditation Plus.

May it be a peaceful week for all.

Mindful Management - Your Ears Should Hear What Your Mouth Says

Last month, I posted on Facebook if anyone knew who authored "Your ears should hear what your mouth says."  I thought it was biblical, but couldn't find anything that had an author attached to the quote.  And then, thanks to Rabbi Cantor Hillary Chorny, she immediately responded with the source - Rabbi Yose in the Yerushalmi (Jerusalem Talmud) Halakha 4, mishnah 4.  She shared that it is a teaching about the shema and how your prayers should be loud enough for you to hear them, but quiet enough so not to distract.

The quote was shared with me by a colleague and mentor.  Immediately, I wrote it down and it sits on my desk.  This quote may have been meant for prayer, but it is what I needed to hear as a manager and a colleague.  Throughout our days, the waves of emotions are high and low.  The frustrations and joys of life are both personal and professional.  Difficulties at work need to be discussed.  The quote struck a nerve with me because even when I am mad, impatient, irritable and simply exhausted, only I want to be the one to hear that in my voice so that it doesn't distract my team.

My favorite role as a manager is to bring the best out of people so that they succeed.  My passion for the work is what guides me and when we all come around the table for a meeting, I often begin with sharing either a personal or professional success story.  It sets a tone for the meeting and always shows my team that I am doing the work that I expect from them. The message - "We are all in this together."

Some people are genuinely positive which is always a benefit to any team.  However, this is also a learned skill for others and some might say a muscle that needs continuous exercising.   Fueling positive energy is not always easy.  Each individual has a way to reset and recalibrate when feeling frustrated. Talking to donors always gives me a boost; Sharing the impact of their generosity definitely gives me a lift.  When I have to handle my administrative tasks, listening to music always perks up the office.  When I am feeling overwhelmed, I take a walk, I talk to someone, or throw myself into work so that I can immediately feel a sense of accomplishment.  Getting to know my team is important so that I can help them when they are having a difficult time.  Learning their strengths, challenges, joys and struggles will allow me to know how to supervise and guide them.  Together we can work through those tough moments and find solutions to any problems.

"Your ears should hear what your mouth says." I love this quote!  While meant for prayer, this quote will sit on my desk to remind me of how my spirit, my energy and my words impact everyone around me.

Mindful Teamwork

Working alone can be productive.  However, I am most productive, creative, and energized when I am part of a team.  When I begin a team project, I set a plan in motion.  This strategy is meant to get the results I want and create an atmosphere that encourages colleagues to want to work together on this project and then again on future projects.

Here are some ways that I nurture a team spirit:

• Clarity - The team needs to know exactly what is expected of them and what the results need to be.
• Timeline - The team needs to know how to be successful in the time required.  When staff understands the beginning, middle and end of a project, they are able to work efficiently and make smarter decisions about their strategies.
• Personality - Each team has a personality.  We are not robots. It is a reality and learn to work with it.  It is the Team Leader who guides this process.  Nurture the best of each staff member so that all can shine in some way.  
• Mindfulness - Pause, assess, adjust, pause, support, guide, pause, laugh, breathe, pause, review project's status, define issues and challenges, celebrate mid-work successes, pause, assess, adjust, pause, talk to staff as individuals and as a group, pause, review the project, countdown to the end, pause, laugh, breathe, pause, celebrate complete on project and give staff their moment to shine. 
• Be Kind - We all have differently listening skills.  Some staff may hear your instructions clearly and know exactly what you are saying.  Some staff may need some time or some additional instructions.  Be patient and be kind.  Their own life experiences may be impacting their work and it is important to be kind.
• Laugh - Take time to laugh with your team.  When we are building a team, we want the team to enjoy working together.  Taking time to laugh with your team can help bond the team together and allow them to be more productive. 
• Evaluation - When the project is done, come together as a team to discuss the successes and challenges of the projects.  Allow decisions to be made together and allow the team to see the future together. 

Working together can be challenging, but with smart leadership, it can lead to success, employee retention and growth and a more enjoyable and healthy work environment. 

Have a creative, fun and productive week!

Lessons from Meditation Plus - June 4, 2016

Every Shabbat I am surprised by the uniqueness of our meditation and learning.  Even though I co-led today with Rabbi Yechiel Hoffman and I had the meditation planned, I am still in wonder about how the energy in the room can have this powerful impact on me.

Today was no different.

Inspired by Rabbi Shefa Gold, I selected the following chant:

To You God I lift up my soul. (Psalm 25:1)

Following our chant, I took a deep breath and began.

Good morning.  Good Shabbes.  I greet you with love, respect, warmth and blessings.  I invite you get comfortable in your chair.  Feet solid on the floor.  Feel your legs, your knees, your thighs.  Pay attention. Notice the feeling of your legs on the chair.  Move up and feel your tush and your back on the chair.  Relax your shoulders.  Take a deep breath and allow all your muscles to relax.  Now take a deep breath and clear your mind. 

You are a blessing.  Some days, we forget that.  You are a blessing. 

Our lives are a blessing.  Some days, we forget that.  Our lives are a blessing. 

We are not cursed.  Some days, we feel that all is against us.  We are not cursed.

Our lives are a journey and we are traveling one moment at a time.  This is one moment.  A moment to pause, breathe, and be still.  As you breathe, feel the stillness and its strength.  In this stillness, your body is adjusting, recalibrating, and even healing. 

Listen to your breath – feel your breath deep into your gut.  Slow and steady.  Focus and share your breath with all the parts of your body.  Are there other parts of your body that are saying, “notice me.”

Our bodies are gifts, temples, blessings, and sometimes we don’t feel that way. Today, love your body. It is a gift. Breathe in the beauty and the strength of your body, your soul, your spirit and your essence.

When we go into silent meditation, stay focused on your breath.  When your mind starts to wander, come back to the body scan.  Breathe from the tips of your toes to the top of your head.  And say, “I am a blessing. My body is a gift.  This moment is a blessing.  Meditation is a gift.”

And then we sat for 10 minutes in silent meditation.

It was the first time in a long time that as the leader, I was still able to feel I was participating in the silent meditation and still take a moment to check the clock.  That part always makes me nervous. I'm  never one to run over, but I still find myself not able to fully relax knowing that I am the keeper of time. 

At the end of 10 minutes, instead of using the chant again, I read from Dr. Erica Brown's "Take Your Soul to Work."  Day #162, page 143 is "Sacred Spaces."  This portion of the text really touched me:

"We all need to identify and seek out places from which blessings emanate, especially when we are not feeling very blessed and need a sacred space to nourish us."

Meditation Plus is truly a sacred space - a conference room to many and a spiritual retreat for me and others.

My friend and teacher Rabbi Yechiel Hoffman, EdD followed the meditation with a beautiful teaching and powerful learning using the text of Jeremiah 17:5-18.  Questions of faith and trust are thought provoking and evokes our own personal fragility, vulnerability and purpose.  What was Jeremiah so afraid of and what happened that gave him such distrust in man?  The poetry of these verses is compelling and dense.  Jeremiah's own fear and anguish propels him to speak with certainty about living with faith in G-d.  Rabbi Hoffman highlights the poignant expression in line 14, "Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed; Save me, and I shall be saved; For Thou art my praise." If Jeremiah was speaking before about how others should live, this prayer is his and his alone.  I often struggle with this personal relationship with G-d and wonder why feelings of spirituality and prayer sometimes waiver.  One moment at a time.  This moment of study is a blessing.  

Thank you Rabbi Hoffman for teaching and leading a rich and thoughtful conversation and to all who participated. I am so grateful for our sacred space.  

Shabbat shalom.