In this month of reflection, I wonder today what is it that makes one behave differently, more thoughtfully and transform to what one wants to become. New responses to situations allow me to see more clearly my growth or my regression. Today, I don't want to yell. Today, I don't want to be frustrated by the external forces. So, I need a new response.
I had two difficult conversations in the past 24 hours - one was very personal and one was professional. In both situations, I responded differently and heard a new voice. Neither right nor wrong, just a new response. The personal was quiet, comforting, but still strong. The other was loud and forceful. In both conversations, I'm not sure if I'm happy with the results and more importantly, not sure that another response would have given me different results. However, I am happy with the appropriate use of my voice, stronger when necessary, comforting when necessary.
Difficult conversations happen all the time. It's not easy, pleasant, or enjoyable, but it is an opportunity to learn, grow, and sometimes offer comfort when the aggression is a mask for sadness. And following difficult conversations, rewards can be great, stronger connections can be made and relationships are more authentic, genuine, and meaningful. This is my experience.
My Elul - a time for new responses, a time to reflect on past conversations and consider what could have been said to help, guide, teach and learn. And when faced with the next difficult conversation, I will remember to find the balance of compassion and strength. Meditation will be a valuable tool for continuous reflection beyond Elul.
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