It was an unusual day as I did't really prepare for anything special. I've spent the last few months trying to bring new perspectives to my usual routines. I love to celebrate my birthday but not the way you think. Our society puts extraordinary pressure on us to have the best birthday ever, receive the greatest and most thoughtful gifts from our loved ones. And what if we don't? Does it mean that we are less loved when the new jewelry doesn't come, does it mean that I'm not appreciated because I'm not showered with boxes and bows? IT DOES NOT! My husband and I made a decision a long time ago that our gifts to each other were to be meaningful to us. Gift giving manufactured by commercialism always ended up with all of us frustrated and disappointed. Not a good way to spend a birthday, valentines day or anniversary.
So what was different this birthday? We began a few days before celebrating with our family at a lovely lunch. The real gift in that is seeing my entire family all around one table at the same time. With such a small family, that was truly a gift that I appreciated. That same night, our daughter cooked us a beautiful Valentines Dinner that gave us a real date night even in our home. Cooking for us and giving us the opportunity for some real conversation was an incredible gift worth more than any jewelry or anything else shiny.
The actual day of my birthday was filled with phone calls, Facebook messages, LinkedIn messages, texts, and emails. Rather than take the day off, I worked and received beautiful smiles and birthday wishes from my colleagues and a nice lunch with my boss.
This year, while driving to work, my mind started to wander about the actual day I was born. Being a mother, I knew the experience of having a child, but I never really thought about the day I was born and being that newborn. I smiled at the thought of my own arrival - in the years I was born, mothers were asleep during the birth and my mother was. My dad enjoyed his dinner at a restaurant nearby while his sleeping wife produced his new daughter. My smiles continued as I thought about the friends that surrounded my parents on that day, and still surround us today. Images of my mother waking up and seeing me for the first time really moved me. My mother and I share a wonderful relationship and talk about parenting often, but for those few minutes, I was imagining my mom for the first time as that new mom, giddy with joy like the day her grandkids were born. Now my dad passed away six years again, so thinking of him as a young father returning to the hospital from his dinner to find out that he had a new daughter made me laugh. Maybe he got back in time, but he was in the waiting room, not in the room. Like the movies, I believe he saw me for the firs time through the glass window in the nursery. And I know that my dad loved being a dad, so I know that when he finally met me, he had that big smile on this face and that put a big smile on my face.
I had never thought about the day I was born in this way. This was the gift I gave myself this year and it brought me great joy.
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