Lessons from Meditation February 6 2016

For a variety of reasons, I have not blogged in a long time.  Time escapes me and days turn into weeks and weeks into months.  And here we are February 2016 and I begin again.  A few weeks ago, I felt the pull to attend daily minyan.  Timing worked in my schedule, so I showed up one morning.  Of course, as a non-regular in daily minyan, my Rabbi thought I was there to observe a yahrzeit (anniversary of a loved one's death, usually a parent).  I told him that it was not the reason but rather I was feeling a bit lost. It felt good to be there - I felt centered and emotional at the same time.  

It's the next day, I am able to go again.  Same as the day before, I walk in and am moved by the commitment of the regulars to fulfill the daily rituals, wrapping tefillin, praying in concert and standing together as a community.  I used to feel uncomfortable in this setting, but on this day, I feel it is where I belong.  I pray a little, meditate a little and just listen to the others as their voiced prayers hum in my ears.  It is a beautiful way to start my day.  Morning minyan ends and I'm am off to work feeling better, calmer, belonging.

It's a new day and I find myself able to go again.  It is now my third day and I'm feeling more comfortable among the regulars and my meditation is nurtured by the energy of prayer that is all around me.  I open the prayer book and find a passage that I had seen the day before.  Psalm 118.  A particular verse sticks with me - 

The Stone the builders rejected has become the cornerstone.

אֶבֶן, מָאֲסוּ הַבּוֹנִים-  הָיְתָה, לְרֹאשׁ פִּנָּה

Following the morning minyan, I am talking to the Rabbis about how I wound up in minyan.  My only response is that I needed to be there.  One of the Rabbis asks me what I got from the service.  At first, I am taken by the question until I quote the only passage that echoes in my mind - Psalm 118, verse 22.  

A month later, I am preparing to lead meditation and find Rabbi Shefa Gold chant to the exact verse.  I must learn it so I can teach it.  I couldn't turn away.  I study the chant for 3 days in hopes of being able to teach it to begin the meditation. It is so beautiful and I am struck again that these words and now music have made such an impact on me.  Rabbi Shefa Gold's chant Psalm 118 verse 22

Saturday arrives and I'm ready for meditation.  I'm a little nervous and excited at the same time and I walk into meditation knowing that I have written a meditation that is truly meaningful to me. 

Meditation Plus - February 6, 2016

Temple Beth Am

Let’s begin. Take a few centering breaths. 

Ground your feet, open your palms, sit up and shake out your shoulders. 

Take a few more centering breaths.

Within the past few weeks, I found myself needing to attend morning minyan.  Words and phrases connected to morning echoed in my mind. 

Wake up. Get up.  Rise up. 

Wake up. Get up. Rise up. 

So one day, I woke up, got up and went to minyan. 

I can follow along Hebrew, but have never wrapped tefillin and still I needed to be there.

As I enter, I see people wrapped in tefillin, I hear praying that sounds more like humming than singing, and a group of people deeply connected to something greater than themselves.

I find a seat, grab a book and look for the prayer that I hear as a beautiful rhythmic hum.

I feel centered. I feel emotional.  If your hands are open, think of each word in the palm of your hand. 

I am centered and emotional.

Feel both at the same time. 

Think of two words that you have felt in conflict – sadness and joy, love and distrust, anxiety and freedom. 

Hold them in your hands and breath. 

The Stone the builders rejected

has become the cornerstone

When I saw this verse from Psalm 118, I was struck.

At that moment I felt rejected and strong. 

I was alone and felt comfort in my community. 

I was that stone that became the cornerstone. 

I am the stone that becomes the cornerstone. 

As we go into silent meditation, I invite you to think about your strength as the cornerstone in different areas of your life. 

Rabbi Shefa Gold says, “This is a practice of identifying that “stone”- the part of us that has been pushed aside, devalued, maligned or rejected ... and then raising that part up as the gift that I might reclaim and refine.”

We will sit for 10 minutes in silence and then begin text study. 

Thank you Rabbi Shefa Gold for your beautiful chant, your teachings and guidance.  Thank you Rabbi Ruth Sohn for your confidence and encouragement.  Thank you Deb Schmidt for your partnership.  And thank you to Temple Beth Am's Daily Minyan for your inspiration and community.