Lessons from Meditation March 5 2016

It's been five years since I first started attending Meditation Plus at Temple Beth Am and every Shabbat morning, I am struck by the uniqueness of each meditation and each session.  Mostly, we are the same group, same Torah portions and yet, the new lessons, perspectives and discussions that Rabbi Ruth Sohn brings to us evokes deep thinking and conversations that echo in my mind hours and days past our morning minyan.

Yesterday was no different.  As always we begin with a chant.  This morning we sang the following:

אין עוד מלבדו  

Ein Od Milvado

There are none but Him

Our voices in unison yesterday made the words of the chant fill the room and embrace of us all.  We arrive to shul as individuals, but the moment we cross the threshold to our meditation space, we are a community, a meditation circle, sometimes group therapy and always as one said today, an oasis.  

The gifts I receive from this group go beyond our 90 minutes every Shabbat.  This circle of spirituality and friendship have helped me personally and professionally.  The conversations that begin from a Torah text have shaped me and I like who I have become.

I began working in the Jewish community in 1994 after working for 8 years in the entertainment industry.  As Dani Shapiro describes in her book, Devotion, I also felt a "push."  Perhaps I was listening to greater forces or my own internal voice  - either way, I needed something more, something deeper to commit myself and a place where I felt more comfortable in my skin.

Two years later, Perry and I got married and we always were in sync about spirituality.  While we grew up with different Jewish religious practices, we often talked about how we would express our Jewish life.  As a young couple, we held many Shabbat dinners.  We both liked to cook and enjoyed having your friends over.  Then kids came along, we both lost our fathers, work and other life issues distracted us from expressing our Jewish life through Shabbat dinners.  I hid behind the fact that our home is not kosher and our friends are.  I told myself that I worked all week and I am too tired to start entertaining after a long week.  I told myself that we love to go to other homes for Shabbat dinner or synagogue for dinner and we can reciprocate in other ways.  I said to myself and others, I'll host Shabbat lunch, but I have not yet fulfilled that desire.  Meditation has taught me that there is still time and I can forgive myself for not doing everything I set out to do.

We found other ways - my work in the Jewish community provided me with a deep communal spirituality that I had not expected, Perry also began working in the Jewish community and our kids were enrolled in Pressman Academy.  I felt great satisfaction in how we were living a Jewish life and yet, something was missing, is still missing.  The more I study, pray, commit and learn, the more I want to study, pray, commit and learn.  Life is a process.  Meditation has helped me stop and listen to myself and others so that my next steps are more thoughtful and meaningful.  Following my birthday, I began looking ahead and feel confident that my Jewish life will continue to grow and guide me.

Meditation Plus at Temple Beth Am has and continues to be a gift, an education, my minyan, and definitely an oasis.