Through our meditation and Torah study, I realized how my morning routine over the past year has deepened my own spiritual commitment and has given me the confidence to pray and meditate in spaces that I had previously felt I didn't belong.
A year and a half ago, my new job gifted me a commute that for the first time in almost twenty years was more than 15 minutes to my office. Before this, my commute was 5 minutes, 8 in traffic. I used to brag that I could get home before a song was over.
I now drive approximately 30-40 minutes each way. While some people feel sorry for me, others make suggestions of how to use my extended time in the car, and over the past year, it didn't take long for me to notice a difference in my mood. I am calmer, I feel more energetic and creative. I have time to listen to great podcasts, new music, or the news. While going to work, I have time to think about the day ahead of me and how to make the best use of my time. On the way home, I think about my day and process the good and bad, make some calls, and by the time I arrive at home, my head is clear, I am more relaxed and able to be more present with my family.
There is a point in my drive from the city of Los Angeles to the San Fernando that is so beautiful and every morning it takes my breath away. Driving over the hill, the entire valley comes into view and I'm overwhelmed with joy and gratitude. For 10 seconds, I embrace my mini meditation and smile. Every day.
After weeks and months of this new routine, it is clear to me that these 30 minutes are more than just a drive to the office. So on days that I am scheduled to work in our westside office, I miss my morning time. Recently, on one of these days on the westside, I was dropping off my son at school and I felt a pull into the daily morning minyan at shul. Though not familiar with all the morning traditions and rituals, I loved walking into shul, becoming part of the morning community and listening to the collection of voices praying in unison. When I can, I now take this time to learn, meditate and pray.
During our text study this Shabbat, I made the connection that these two experiences were nurturing my spirituality. I had unknowingly created a space in the morning that now needs to be filled with some type of music, speakers or my shul community. This morning time offers the opportunity to start my day with gratitude and mindfulness. The gift of time is one I don't ever take for granted and my new awareness will make my morning drive and morning meditation even more meaningful.
Sunday, March 27, 2016
Saturday, March 12, 2016
Singing Our Prayers
The past few months I've been regularly attending Friday night services. Meditation Plus is Saturday morning ritual for the past 5 years and recently felt a strong desire to end my work week by joining my community in their Friday night Shabbat services. Sometimes it is a moment of meditation, sometimes an opportunity to learn, and always, it is to give a spiritual break from the week.
Tonight was something special. Several weeks ago, a new service was born at Temple Beth Am in Los Angeles. Shabbat Sovev is a service of song, prayer, and a communal energy that is soulful. Every other Shabbat, this new service introduces new melodies and even reinvigorates your old favorites. Tonight, I joined the inner circle to be closer to the leaders of the group. Definitely one of my better decisions. While I don't consider myself a singer, I found myself singing along. Sitting so close to those recognized as singers, I could hear the joy as they sang and it was captivating. More than once I found myself smiling as I moved between confidence and discomfort.
In these experiences, I learn more about myself. My friend, an accomplished singer, said today that if she is leading the service, she sings with the freedom that echoes in all corners of the sanctuary. When she is sitting among the audience, she is more conscious of the volume of her voice and the eyes upon her (real or imagined). I feel exactly the same way and I'm not a performer. I realize that my fear of singing and performing had stopped me from fully engaging, but not anymore. Shabbat Sovev has freed me and given me permission to learn the harmonies and embrace a new joyful prayer experience.
Thank you Temple Beth Am and the all the creators of Shabbat Sovev.
Tonight was something special. Several weeks ago, a new service was born at Temple Beth Am in Los Angeles. Shabbat Sovev is a service of song, prayer, and a communal energy that is soulful. Every other Shabbat, this new service introduces new melodies and even reinvigorates your old favorites. Tonight, I joined the inner circle to be closer to the leaders of the group. Definitely one of my better decisions. While I don't consider myself a singer, I found myself singing along. Sitting so close to those recognized as singers, I could hear the joy as they sang and it was captivating. More than once I found myself smiling as I moved between confidence and discomfort.
In these experiences, I learn more about myself. My friend, an accomplished singer, said today that if she is leading the service, she sings with the freedom that echoes in all corners of the sanctuary. When she is sitting among the audience, she is more conscious of the volume of her voice and the eyes upon her (real or imagined). I feel exactly the same way and I'm not a performer. I realize that my fear of singing and performing had stopped me from fully engaging, but not anymore. Shabbat Sovev has freed me and given me permission to learn the harmonies and embrace a new joyful prayer experience.
Thank you Temple Beth Am and the all the creators of Shabbat Sovev.
Tuesday, March 8, 2016
Tell Your Story - I Want to Hear It!
Tell your story. I want to hear it. It is important to share your experiences with others. Today I heard powerful stories, happy and sad - a baby is born, a grad student is killed, a friend gets a new job, a friend's mother is ill. These are all important stories to tell and to hear. We live in a time where we have access to an extraordinary amount of information that is shared by the written word on Facebook and email or spoken to each other (the old fashion way).
Your story may be short or long, may make an immediate impact or have a delayed response, but it must be told. I want to hear them, others want to hear them, we all need to hear them.
I am fortunate that in my job I get to hear stories of survival, resilience, commitment, transformation, and philanthropy. I am always so moved by how one tells a story, why one tells a story and if I'm lucky enough to hear a story more than once, I am always fascinated by new and fresh the story may sound depending on how well the storyteller knows the audience. How does the storyteller change or enhance the story to touch this audience? Why didn't I hear that part before?
Today was a mixture of those stories. Not all of them were good, some were tragic, and others so truly inspiring that somehow I feel a bit more balanced then I did yesterday.
The last two weeks in meditation, I've been holding my hands with my palms up trying to be open and to feel balanced. Holding them like that makes me understand that all these emotions that I feel when I hear stories must sometimes be held at the same time. Happy, sad, confused, clear, wanting more, and sometimes, I must shut down.
Tell your story. I want to hear it.
Your story may be short or long, may make an immediate impact or have a delayed response, but it must be told. I want to hear them, others want to hear them, we all need to hear them.
I am fortunate that in my job I get to hear stories of survival, resilience, commitment, transformation, and philanthropy. I am always so moved by how one tells a story, why one tells a story and if I'm lucky enough to hear a story more than once, I am always fascinated by new and fresh the story may sound depending on how well the storyteller knows the audience. How does the storyteller change or enhance the story to touch this audience? Why didn't I hear that part before?
Today was a mixture of those stories. Not all of them were good, some were tragic, and others so truly inspiring that somehow I feel a bit more balanced then I did yesterday.
The last two weeks in meditation, I've been holding my hands with my palms up trying to be open and to feel balanced. Holding them like that makes me understand that all these emotions that I feel when I hear stories must sometimes be held at the same time. Happy, sad, confused, clear, wanting more, and sometimes, I must shut down.
Tell your story. I want to hear it.
Monday, March 7, 2016
Inspired By You
Throughout my day, I am inspired by you -
- You who teaches me something new every day.
- You who is kind and takes time for others.
- You who keeps on going even when you are sick.
- You who looks out for others before yourself.
- You who is thoughtful when no one is looking.
- You who gives me great advice.
- You who stands up to make a speech and brings tears to my eyes.
- You who posts a picture of your recently passed relative as a loving tribute.
- You who makes me laugh without even trying.
- You who dedicate time and money to your favorite causes.
- You who balance home and work with the appearance of ease.
- You who shares your life stories with honesty.
I see you. I appreciate all that you give. And I thank you.
Sunday, March 6, 2016
Lessons from Meditation March 5 2016
It's been five years since I first started attending Meditation Plus at Temple Beth Am and every Shabbat morning, I am struck by the uniqueness of each meditation and each session. Mostly, we are the same group, same Torah portions and yet, the new lessons, perspectives and discussions that Rabbi Ruth Sohn brings to us evokes deep thinking and conversations that echo in my mind hours and days past our morning minyan.
Yesterday was no different. As always we begin with a chant. This morning we sang the following:
The gifts I receive from this group go beyond our 90 minutes every Shabbat. This circle of spirituality and friendship have helped me personally and professionally. The conversations that begin from a Torah text have shaped me and I like who I have become.
I began working in the Jewish community in 1994 after working for 8 years in the entertainment industry. As Dani Shapiro describes in her book, Devotion, I also felt a "push." Perhaps I was listening to greater forces or my own internal voice - either way, I needed something more, something deeper to commit myself and a place where I felt more comfortable in my skin.
Two years later, Perry and I got married and we always were in sync about spirituality. While we grew up with different Jewish religious practices, we often talked about how we would express our Jewish life. As a young couple, we held many Shabbat dinners. We both liked to cook and enjoyed having your friends over. Then kids came along, we both lost our fathers, work and other life issues distracted us from expressing our Jewish life through Shabbat dinners. I hid behind the fact that our home is not kosher and our friends are. I told myself that I worked all week and I am too tired to start entertaining after a long week. I told myself that we love to go to other homes for Shabbat dinner or synagogue for dinner and we can reciprocate in other ways. I said to myself and others, I'll host Shabbat lunch, but I have not yet fulfilled that desire. Meditation has taught me that there is still time and I can forgive myself for not doing everything I set out to do.
We found other ways - my work in the Jewish community provided me with a deep communal spirituality that I had not expected, Perry also began working in the Jewish community and our kids were enrolled in Pressman Academy. I felt great satisfaction in how we were living a Jewish life and yet, something was missing, is still missing. The more I study, pray, commit and learn, the more I want to study, pray, commit and learn. Life is a process. Meditation has helped me stop and listen to myself and others so that my next steps are more thoughtful and meaningful. Following my birthday, I began looking ahead and feel confident that my Jewish life will continue to grow and guide me.
Meditation Plus at Temple Beth Am has and continues to be a gift, an education, my minyan, and definitely an oasis.
Yesterday was no different. As always we begin with a chant. This morning we sang the following:
אין עוד מלבדו
Ein Od Milvado
There are none but Him
Our voices in unison yesterday made the words of the chant fill the room and embrace of us all. We arrive to shul as individuals, but the moment we cross the threshold to our meditation space, we are a community, a meditation circle, sometimes group therapy and always as one said today, an oasis.
The gifts I receive from this group go beyond our 90 minutes every Shabbat. This circle of spirituality and friendship have helped me personally and professionally. The conversations that begin from a Torah text have shaped me and I like who I have become.
I began working in the Jewish community in 1994 after working for 8 years in the entertainment industry. As Dani Shapiro describes in her book, Devotion, I also felt a "push." Perhaps I was listening to greater forces or my own internal voice - either way, I needed something more, something deeper to commit myself and a place where I felt more comfortable in my skin.
Two years later, Perry and I got married and we always were in sync about spirituality. While we grew up with different Jewish religious practices, we often talked about how we would express our Jewish life. As a young couple, we held many Shabbat dinners. We both liked to cook and enjoyed having your friends over. Then kids came along, we both lost our fathers, work and other life issues distracted us from expressing our Jewish life through Shabbat dinners. I hid behind the fact that our home is not kosher and our friends are. I told myself that I worked all week and I am too tired to start entertaining after a long week. I told myself that we love to go to other homes for Shabbat dinner or synagogue for dinner and we can reciprocate in other ways. I said to myself and others, I'll host Shabbat lunch, but I have not yet fulfilled that desire. Meditation has taught me that there is still time and I can forgive myself for not doing everything I set out to do.
We found other ways - my work in the Jewish community provided me with a deep communal spirituality that I had not expected, Perry also began working in the Jewish community and our kids were enrolled in Pressman Academy. I felt great satisfaction in how we were living a Jewish life and yet, something was missing, is still missing. The more I study, pray, commit and learn, the more I want to study, pray, commit and learn. Life is a process. Meditation has helped me stop and listen to myself and others so that my next steps are more thoughtful and meaningful. Following my birthday, I began looking ahead and feel confident that my Jewish life will continue to grow and guide me.
Meditation Plus at Temple Beth Am has and continues to be a gift, an education, my minyan, and definitely an oasis.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)