Honest and Kind

Could you be both honest and kind?  Do you have to be brutally honest or pathetically kind?  I've spent the last couple of years paying attention to living these values hand in hand.  I am committed to being honest and kind so that I can deliver messages and when I deliver with kindness, these messages are received at the most with gratitude, and at the least with silence.  

You might be wondering what type of messages that I need to deliver in this way -

• I'M SORRY - This message has probably become the most honest and sincere message I deliver on a regular basis.  If you don't deliver it kindly, it could be disingenuous.  Whenever I say, I'm sorry, I always add the reason why.  
• I NEED YOU TO TRUST ME - This is a message that I must deliver often and it can't be voiced with anger, and in fact, it doesn't stand alone.  When I make this statement, I have to follow it with several actions that will encourage a person to trust me.
• I MUST SAY NO - This has been one of the most difficult for me.  It is not easy for me to say, "No," but there is just too much in my life right now and too little time to get it all done.  I used to deliver this message with frustration and feel that I wasn't completely honest.  I wondered, "Couldn't a find a few more minutes?  Couldn't I get it done if I really want it?"  I realized that I there are two truths that exist here.  I often do want to say, "Yes," but then I only disappoint my family, friends or colleagues.  But the desire to say yes stays with me.  And, I truly do not have the time to say yes and give the project my full attention.  
• I'M SO MAD AT YOU, I'M SO FRUSTRATED - These two sentences have also been very challenging to say with honesty and kindness especially if I am delivering the message looking at their face.  But the more I have these kinds of conversations, I realize that those who remain my friends or co-workers who still respect me, will continue to do so.  This is when I see that creating an opportunity for others to hear your anger, disappointment or frustration - if delivered with honestly and kindly - allows you the opportunity to give that person feedback that they might not be getting from any other person.  
• DON'T DO IT - This is another awkward message to deliver without anger or frustration.  I have tried to deliver it now several times with a more patient tone, sincere honest and kindness, it it doesn't always work because people ultimately make their own choices.  But in being honest, I feel the need to deliver the message.
• I LOVE YOU - Am happy to deliver this message anytime, anywhere and always with honesty and kindness - is there any other way?

I continue to work on this effort and believe that voicing these messages with mindfulness and thoughtfulness helps keep my stress level down as well as the receiver of the message.

Tomorrow is another day.