Thoughtful Actions - Power of Personalities

Over the past few weeks, I have written some posts with the theme of mindfulness at work.  During my morning commutes this week, I began to think about the power of personalities and the impact on decision making, negotiation, branding a message and strategic thinking.  What makes a decision the right one? What makes the negotiation successful?  What is the merit of a brand message?  And how does strategic thinking create a real and powerful vision for the future?

Personally and professionally I have witnessed the power of personalities in several meetings.  In my life, I am surrounded by diverse personalities - strong, thoughtful, kind, dedicated, reactive, quiet, assertive, withdrawn, literal and visionary.  Sitting in a meeting recently, I imagined what the discussion would look like if the personalities around the room were different.  If the facts are the same, would the results be the same?  Would a change of one person make a difference so much that the result would change for better or worse?

Goals around the table need to be the same, personalities need to guide the process.  I offer this when you sit in your office, your meeting, wherever and with whomever you gather - Thoughtful Actions. Our words and our actions make a difference.  Our personality is our unique mark on our world and as we work together, let it shine, let it represent the best part of ourselves and as we act in thoughtful ways, let the results of our decisions, negotiations, brand messaging and strategic thinking show who we are.

Taking thoughtful actions are not always easy.  Take a breath.  Count to ten. Take a walk.  In those moments when you are frustrated, can't believe your colleague just said that, or feeling that the situation feels unfair, take a breath, count to ten, or take a walk.  Be thoughtful.  We don't always have the information, we don't know what other conversations are taking place, and sadly, we don't and can't always know when private conversations include advocacy for staff or creative thinking for management.

Maybe we are wrong. Maybe we misjudged.  Maybe we should consider that others did take some thoughtful action.  That alone would be a thoughtful action.  Think about some other ways to be thoughtful - respect a colleague's idea, thank people when they deliver the report, offer to help another with a project, collaborate because you want to, work together kindly even when you don't want to, instead of an email, get out of your office to talk to a colleague face to face (people like to see you) or pick up the phone (people like to hear your voice).

Be thoughtful.  Stay calm. Let the best of your personality shine - that is the power of your personality.  Let me know if this works for you.  It is already making a difference in my personal and professional partnerships. Good luck.

A Lot in My Little Vacation

Within hours of sending our kids to camp, my husband and I were off to our own mini vacation - a couple of days at Two Bunch Palms in Palm Desert.  Known for its mineral springs and old Hollywood history, it offers an opportunity for relaxation, self-exploration, and reconnecting with your partner.

Starting with the drive out of Los Angeles and with Two Bunch Palms as our destination, the two hour drive is the beginning of my distressing.  Once we arrive, the warmth of the air welcomes us and allows every cell of my body to soften. We spent the next 48 hours enjoying the classes, the spa treatments and the freedom to be away from the handcuffs of time.

And I took a lot of deep breaths. And I spent time looking out into the mountains.



I sat stil.  I meditated.  I read.  I laughed.  And then I repeated. In 48 hours, I was able to refuel, reboot, renew and reconsider all the possibilities that are ahead. Mission accomplished.



This selfie was taken right after we finished a meditation.  The air was warm and the wind was embracing.  

So grateful for these 48 hours.

Lessons from Meditation 7-16-16

Each Shabbat morning our Meditation Plus group comes together and such a rich discussion is born.  And with all that is going on in the world today, we each shared our sadness and anxiety about the state of the news and we were all grateful for our meditation and the opportunity to learn together.

I led the meditation and Taly led the study.

I began with a chant from Rabbi Shefa Gold:
Not just every year, week or day, but every single moment we can choose Life. This means choosing to let go of a negative thought or judgement; it means choosing to live with uncertainty; choosing the kind word or generous attitude; choosing to let go of tension and relax.  In every moment we can choose to "be chosen" by God for the best possible Life, for the life we were meant to live fully.  In each moment, we can choose to accept the gifts, challenges, opportunities and responsibilities that we are being given.  Rabbi Shefa Gold's Chant "Choose Life: Uvacharta Bachayyim"

Following the chant, I led the following meditation:

After the news this week, Rabbi Shefa Gold’s chant was just what we needed.  Choose Life.  As we focus on our breath, listen to your breath, feel your lungs as you inhale and exhale. Our breath is the essence of our life.  Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out.

A few weeks ago, I heard the phrase “Your ears should hear what your mouth says.” I posted on Facebook to see if anyone knew who authored it.  And then, thanks to Rabbi Cantor Hillary Chorny, she immediately responded with the source - Rabbi Yose in the Yerushalmi (Jerusalem Talmud) Halakha 4, mishnah 4.  She shared that it is a teaching about the shema and how your prayers should be loud enough for you to hear them, but quiet enough so not to distract.

The quote intrigued me and I really thought about how I can apply it to my work.  But once I did that, this quote still fascinates me, haunts me, and reminds me of how important my words can empower and distract others. 

In our meditation practice, we focus on the silence.  We embrace the power of silence and while we sit next to each other, we are alone in our minds and are hearts.  Our breath empowers us, allows us to live and when we take time to align our hearts, minds, and breaths, we find a momentary peace.  Let’s take time today to start with our breath and as we breath in and out, connect the breath to our hearts and minds. 

Take a deep breath.  Feel it go through your body.  Where do you feel it most – in your lungs, are your lungs full?  In your diaphragm?  Does your stomach extend?  Does your chest expand?  Take another deep breath and where do you feel this one, is it the same? Is it different?

Take a deep breath. What goes through your mind?  Let it go.  Focus on how your breath affects your mind.  Is your mind running?  Thoughts jumping around.  Take a breath and quiet your mind.  Let the breath free your thoughts and focus only on your breath.  Allow your breath to empty your mind. 

As we sit in silence, focus on your breath and use it to keep your mind clear.  We will sit for 10 minutes.

 Following our meditation, we had a beautiful discussion about our experiences in the quiet.   

Taly began the study with a brief description of parashat Hukkat.  We spoke a lot about the deaths of Miriam and Aaron, and the even how Moses is told by God that he will die before the Israelites enter the Promised Land.  Taly brought a very moving article by Rabbi Lisa Edwards that appeared in The Jewish Journal two years ago, but was so relevant to our conversation. 

Rabbi Lisa Edwards: Torah portion Hukkat - time flies

We also spoke about the power of meditation, guided and silent which reminded me of an extraordinary documentary: The Dhamma Brothers, about bringing a mediation program prisons.

But, what struck me most this morning and has stayed with me all day is the powerful description of Miriam's death and with her death, there was no water.  Thinking about this in relation to losing those we love, I immediately thought about how when a significant person in our lives passes way, a characteristic we love about them dies with them.  Like Miriam's well, our loved one's characteristic nourished us and was a vital part of our lives.  With the loved one gone, that healing, and giving quality is gone.  How sad that such a significant gift in one's life is no longer with us. Our memory is strong, but like with Miriam, the well is gone.

I'm blessed to have such incredible people surrounding me.  I'm grateful for Meditation Plus.

May it be a peaceful week for all.

Mindful Management - Your Ears Should Hear What Your Mouth Says

Last month, I posted on Facebook if anyone knew who authored "Your ears should hear what your mouth says."  I thought it was biblical, but couldn't find anything that had an author attached to the quote.  And then, thanks to Rabbi Cantor Hillary Chorny, she immediately responded with the source - Rabbi Yose in the Yerushalmi (Jerusalem Talmud) Halakha 4, mishnah 4.  She shared that it is a teaching about the shema and how your prayers should be loud enough for you to hear them, but quiet enough so not to distract.

The quote was shared with me by a colleague and mentor.  Immediately, I wrote it down and it sits on my desk.  This quote may have been meant for prayer, but it is what I needed to hear as a manager and a colleague.  Throughout our days, the waves of emotions are high and low.  The frustrations and joys of life are both personal and professional.  Difficulties at work need to be discussed.  The quote struck a nerve with me because even when I am mad, impatient, irritable and simply exhausted, only I want to be the one to hear that in my voice so that it doesn't distract my team.

My favorite role as a manager is to bring the best out of people so that they succeed.  My passion for the work is what guides me and when we all come around the table for a meeting, I often begin with sharing either a personal or professional success story.  It sets a tone for the meeting and always shows my team that I am doing the work that I expect from them. The message - "We are all in this together."

Some people are genuinely positive which is always a benefit to any team.  However, this is also a learned skill for others and some might say a muscle that needs continuous exercising.   Fueling positive energy is not always easy.  Each individual has a way to reset and recalibrate when feeling frustrated. Talking to donors always gives me a boost; Sharing the impact of their generosity definitely gives me a lift.  When I have to handle my administrative tasks, listening to music always perks up the office.  When I am feeling overwhelmed, I take a walk, I talk to someone, or throw myself into work so that I can immediately feel a sense of accomplishment.  Getting to know my team is important so that I can help them when they are having a difficult time.  Learning their strengths, challenges, joys and struggles will allow me to know how to supervise and guide them.  Together we can work through those tough moments and find solutions to any problems.

"Your ears should hear what your mouth says." I love this quote!  While meant for prayer, this quote will sit on my desk to remind me of how my spirit, my energy and my words impact everyone around me.